Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
