This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
