I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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