In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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