Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
