I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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