dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
