everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
