There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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