you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
did i just pee glitter
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
