i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
