Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
