I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
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If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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