It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
