We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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