do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
