that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize