Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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