I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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