I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
