You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
