I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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