you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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