found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
