Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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