My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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