I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
