it hurts more in the daytime
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm like, not good at living.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
