He felt like a one man threesome
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
