Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
