glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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