i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
