To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize