I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
