areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Terrible idea I love it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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