you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
