i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
