saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
