You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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