How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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