i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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