god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
