so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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