Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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