My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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