4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
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When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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