Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
