I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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