Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
