I have demons in me.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
