two words: eviction party
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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