told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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