Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
