I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
