Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
