1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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