I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
how drunk are you?
Several
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
