garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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