Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wish there were birth control emojis
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
