he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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