It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Mom said you looked used
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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