Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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