If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
